Paul Romer, the young economist whose work on New Growth Theory had stressed the importance of technology in economic growth and, by implication, conferred a magnificent important on the new new thing, hinted at another, deeper reason technological change was so unsettling. In a digression from his otherwise rigorous analysis, in a 1994 issue of the Journal of Development Economics, Romer wrote, "Once we admit that there is room for newness - that there are vastly more conceivable possibilities than realized outcomes - we must confront the fact that there is no special logic behind the world we inhibit, no particular justification for why things are the way they are. Any number of arbitrarily small perturbations along the way could have made the world as we know it turn out very differently....We are forced to admit that the world as we know it is the result of a long string of chance outcomes.

introvert+right brained = 'supportive'
introvert+left brained = 'analytical'
extrovert+right brained = 'promoter'
extrovert+left brained = 'controller'

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Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. I first learned this definition of maturity in the fall of 1955 from a marvelous professor, Hrand Saxenian, who instructed my Control class at the Harvard Business' School. He taught the finest, simplest, most practical, yet profound, definition of emotional maturity I've ever come across - "the ability to express one's own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others." As a part of his doctoral research, Hrand Saxenian had developed this criterion over years of historical and direct field research. He later wrote up his original research format in its completeness with supportive reasoning and application suggests in a Harvard Business Review article (January - February 1958). Even though it is complementary and also developmental, Hrand's use of the word "maturity" is different from its use in the 7 Habits "Maturity Continuum," which focuses on a growth and development process from dependency through independency to interdependency.

That's why it's so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table. People will begin to judge each other through those expectations. And if they fee like their basic expectations have been violated, the reserve of trust is diminished. We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people. The deposit is to make the expectations clear and explicit in the beginning. This takes a real investment of time and effort up front, but it saves great amounts of time and effort down the road. When expectations are not clear and shared, people begin to become emotionally involved and simple misunderstandings become compounded, turning into personality clashes and communication breakdowns.

Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don't exist and to hope things will work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations.

It's hard not to get impatient. It takes character to be proactive, to focus on your Circle of Influence, to nurture growing things, and not to "pull up the flowers to see how the roots are coming." But there really is no quick fix. Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments.

Emotional Bank Account

Our most constant relationships, like marriage, require our most constant deposits. With continuing expectations, old deposits evaporate. If you suddenly run into an old high school friend you haven't seen for years, you can pick up right where you left off because the earlier deposits are still there. But your accounts with the people you interact with on a regular basis require more constant investment. There are sometimes automatic withdrawals in your daily interactions or in their perception of you that you don't even know about. This is especially true with teenagers in the home.

Being by myself has certainly made me a much happier person. Today, at least I'm thankful for that quarter of quiet peace and solitude...

And winter break will be spending more time with the family, with my dear cousins!
Kathleen =)